Journal Day 6 (Getting Less Lost, Vaseline Popcorn, and Maya)

My hike to the lake today left me feeling like an idiot. As usual I put Maya on the lead so she wouldn't wander after me and headed up the hill for my shortcut. Again, there were no new bear track. I descended the hill and followed the fire road to FR147, and FR147 to the lake.

On the way back, I wound around the forest road until I got to the culvert with the Mountain Dew and Bud Light litter. On this occasion, the area looked more familiar than it ought to.

Curious, and no longer worried bears were going to molest Miss Maya, I decide to explore a little bit. I turned and headed up the primitive road. It led to my camp. I have been doing a big circle around the forest on FR147 before following it to the lake. On the way home, I've been blowing right past the turn to my camp to travel around and come up the back way. I'll need to look on a map to figure out exactly how this works.

I've always prided myself on my sense of direction in the wild, this is humbling and a bit embarrassing.

I should be able to knock nearly an hour off the trip from now on.

5:00pm

Maya and I agree, Zataran's Dirty Rice Mix is excellent camp food, even without the meat. Shoulda known Louis Armstrong wouldn't steer us wrong. Saw a lot of Grasshoppers today. Maybe tomorrow we'll roast some up.

7:00pm

Elk due east fifty yards.

Speaking of food and all, lets say you find yourself in the woods with five pounds of popcorn and no oil. A little dab of Vaseline from the first aid kit will do just fine. You don't even taste it. I assume it's safe enough, I saw my sister give a spoonful of the slippery stuff to my niece once for constipation.

9:00pm

Maya has been more active tonight. Her pads are looking much better. We went for several walks tonight through the thick pine needles and she seemed unfazed when we hit gravel. Tonight, with the last rays of sun, she headed toward the warmth of the tarps as she usually does. Halfway there she stopped and gave me a look to see if I was following, like I was crazy to be out in the cold. It occurred to me that she might not understand fire means warmth. I called her back and fixed her blanket by the hearth. She dug it, and later, wasn't so eager to go to the tarps.

I worry so much about her. I know our time together is growing short. About five weeks ago, I returned home to find a growth the size of a tomato protruding from her girlie parts. She didn't seem bothered by it as much as I was. Not knowing what else to do, I wrapped my hand in Saran Wrap and gently pushed it back in. The next day we saw a vet. It's cancer. I wish I had known, but if female dogs aren't fixed, the vet told me, they almost always end up with reproductive cancer. They said it's not a good idea to try and operate because of her age. 

So far, the tomato has not made another appearance. I'm hoping for the best.

Maya came to me in the desert when she was only 5 weeks old. A nearby rancher had lost her. He said her mother was a Labrador and her father was a Coyote who had an ongoing, seasonal relationship with the lab. He said this wasn't the first litter they produced. Maya was the runt, and the others kept tossing her out of the box. He said I should keep her, otherwise he feared she would be harmed by her litter mates. 

I didn't want a dog. Being a fugitive isn't a stable profession, but I couldn't resist.

She was raised on the desert and mountain trails in and around Tucson. We'd been in the city for years. Its good to be back out where we were both happiest. When she is gone, I don't know what I'll do. All these years, I've had to take care of myself and remain free so I could take care of her.

Thinking About Those I Left Behind

So I had some doubt and fear, those first weeks at Potato Lake. I thought of just staying through my groceries and heading north to Flagstaff. I was halfway there. It might be a fitting end to Mike West to have him wander into the Forest and disappear while a new incarnation arose to the North. But I was pulled along.

The curiosity that built within me was unquenchable. I had to see where the trail would lead me. That's why I began this journey and escaped the bonds of imprisonment and oppression. I had absolutely no predictions. There were too many unquantified variables. In that way, the afternoon before I set up my first camp and the ensuing days were much like sitting in that bus in Chicago. I was propelling myself into a void, lurching forward with only my intent to find what Casteneda called “The Path with Heart”. I could no longer justify my freedom based on the life I led in the city; cowering in anonymity and silence.

Before my ruin, I was of help to some people. I spread messages of hope and faith. I lived my life as an example of the joy that can be found and the miracles we can experience if we just trust in the Universe and the way it all fits together. I lost that. I Knew I would. I walked away from all that and into a world of betrayal and fear.

I also knew it was my duty to find my way back to that self again, even if I had to risk my freedom on some questionable woodland journey. I couldn't give up without giving it a shot. I owed that to all the people I left behind. I had to believe in the world as I used to describe it. I had to thrust myself physically into an environment lacking in guile; a jolt of reality, if you will. Nature can be unforgiving, deceptive and alluring, but even in it's deceptions, there is great truth.

If I were to rebuild myself, it would have to be on such a foundation of truth and the beauty that surrounds us.

I wondered if those folks back home would even recognize the man I had become. I was pretty sure they remembered me, maybe even fondly. Did they tell their friends about the hippie that gave away tabs of LSD every Sunday when the bands played at The Flying Tomato? Did they remember the messages? Did they remember there are worlds, within and without “reality”? Did they remember the lessons we learned together? How would they receive me if they met me today? Did they miss me the way that I missed them?

I wished they could know I still took breath, my adventure continued. Even when I had those moments when I lost faith in myself, I didn't lose faith in those remarkable people I was stolen from by those who feared the freedom of the mind.

Many times, people warned me that I would be stopped. I was so vocal, so present, so obvious. My profile was as high as I was, but I wouldn't be silenced. If I could only have the freedom to do as I did for a short time, then I would have to accept that. I had faith back then that I was ultimately justified in word and deed and no matter what happened, everything would be alright. My continued freedom hinted an affirmation to memories of optimism. I hoped that optimism would grow in the magical places I now occupied.

I was going for broke, gambling on this pilgrimage. The worse thing that could happen would be if the Blue Meanies caught up with me, and dragged me to their dungeons. At best, I would someday go home and show that my faith was well placed, and the words and works of my youth were validated; that the Universe, chaotic as it is, ultimately provides. We can be free if we believe.

I used to converse at length on the topics of truth, love, faith, and freedom. I wasn't being punished by my exile. I was being given the chance to live my message as an illustration. Actions speak louder. Would anybody be there to hear?

The Redemption of Shattsworth

A year to the day from the time the mysterious van pulled in and parked, I found myself back at Bear Canyon. This time I was camped to the west of Forest Road 89, tucked way back in a little used part of the forest at the end of a fire road. This made for a longer hike to the lake, but also hid me from the prying eyes of the Feds.

This year, I had no forest closures to blame for staying in one region beyond the fourteen day limit. I had to avoid the scrutiny of not only the Law Enforcement Officers (LEO's) but of the Rangers, Toilet Rangers, Game and Fish Wardens, and Wildlife Rangers.

I maintained contact with the Fire Rangers, known as Hot Shots, because they didn't care how long I stayed in the forest. They said they saw a difference between recreating and residing in the forest and even though I overstayed the regulations, I was obviously recreating and that was cool with them. I fished and explored and always had adventures to share with them. They often told me they wished they could do what I was doing. They had become friends and often provided me with useful information on the state of the forests, fire bans, and forest fires. I met these guys the previous year. They were all in their twenties and expressed appreciation for my continued journeys.

So I was cutting through the main camp area toward my hiding spot with a stringer of fish when I saw a maroon Dodge van pull up behind the shitter. The driver got out, opened the hood, and checked the radiator. This couldn't be Shattsworth, could it? I thought maybe it was just the color of the van and the location he pulled into that reminded me of him. I circled along the ridge and came up from the other side for a better look. It was him. I stole out from the cover of the trees and silently moved up behind him without being noticed.

From about a foot away, I said “Don't tell me you have a hole in your Radiator!” loud enough to startle him. He turned and smiled and said he was hoping to find me here. He suggested we go to my camp and talk. Having learned my lesson from previous experiences, I told him I was camped a few miles away, in a spot where he probably couldn't get his van. There were some fallen logs nearby where the Forest Service had recently downed some trees that were victim to the Bark Beetles. We could sit and talk there. I hung my fish in a tree and he brought out his bong.

As we smoked, his story unfolded.

Shattsworth had a girlfriend once, and a house and a job. He lost them all. The girlfriend got hooked on Meth and hooked up with a friend of his. His birthday was approaching and he got an idea from watching a movie. That movie was “The Life of David Gale”. He was always talking about Kevin Spacey movies. The David Gale film, and “American Beauty”. I had not seen either. Apparently, in the movie, Somebody kills themselves by taping a bag over their head and handcuffing themselves behind their back after swallowing the handcuff key.

He said he came to the woods to do this, once his supplies ran out, but then he met me. He said he wanted to thank me and invited me to stay with him, should I find myself in Phoenix. He gave me his extension number at work and said he had a present for me in the van. I felt bad for having judged him so harshly. Still, I found it hard not to do so.

His bong had a huge bowl, and after he would load it and each of us would take a hit, he would dump the rest out. The first three times he did this, I kept quiet. It was killing me to see such waste. It was just regular Mexican, but still. I jonesed on the rim. Grass is hard to come by up in Mormon Country. It's not like the river, where pot is plentiful.

Finally I said something to him. It was along the lines of “What the hell are you doing, grinding good buds in the dirt?” He replied that he had plenty, and only wanted the green hits. I was flabbergasted. I had never seen such behavior. I told him so in vivid and voluminous detail. I entreated with him to at least dump the bowls on a plate or a rock as I could smoke a week or more on what he had wasted. He said nah, if he was going to smoke green hits, he wasn't going to make me smoke the remainder. “Remember” he stated, “I told you I was sorry I didn't share with you before, and promised to take care of you if I ever saw you again”.

I thanked him as humbly as I could, but damn! He didn't have to throw Marijuana away right in front of me! He demanded that we change the subject, which is quite assertive for that guy, and asked me if I liked creamer in my coffee. “Sure” I said, “but I'm out of coffee right now”. He went to his van and returned with a number 10 can of Creamora and asked if I wanted it. Sure, I said. I was thinking I might use it like I did powdered milk and add water and sugar and pour it over greens. “If you don't want it”, he teased, “you don't have to take it”.

“I want it.” I replied, “Thank you”. He tossed it to me and I pulled back the lid to check the seal and left it at that. I wasn't about to accept food from Shattsworth that wasn't sealed for my safety. I thanked him again and sat it down on my right side. With a sly look, he asked “Aren't you going to open it?” “Why?” I queried in return, “Is this a joke? Are snakes going to jump out when I open it?” “It's no joke”, he said, “Maybe you should give it back if you don't like it.” “I like it! I thanked you twice.”

He appeared not to be convinced and said I'd better just give it back. He said he was sorry he didn't have anything better for me. I handed it back to him, wondering what kind of sick Shattsworth game he was playing. First he was throwing away grass that he KNEW I was dying for, now he was making a weird issue of my not opening the Cremora.

He stood there examining the canister, removed the plastic lid and showed me the unbroken foil seal. He put the lid back on and turned the can over and over in his hands, muttering things like “mmm, let me see...how does this work”. Finally he unscrewed the bottom a quarter turn and tossed it back to me. As he did so he said “I'll need the empty can back.”

I opened it and inside was a quarter pound of the Mexican buds we'd been smoking. That magnificent twisted bastard! “Did you really think I'd drive all the way up here to bring you four pounds of creamer? How weird do you think I am?” “Pretty weird, Jeff, but wow! Man, thanks!”

We chatted a while about my adventures since he had last seen me. He told me he still carried the Bear shit (dog crap) he found in his camp. I asked if the ranger had arrested him or threw him out and he said “No, I left because you said I poisoned you. I didn't know what you might do.” I still think he poisoned me, just to see what would happen. I'd love to get my hands on his juvenile records.

We didn't discuss the poisoning much further than for me to express my conclusion that he fed me something that made me sick. In the end, We thanked each other, and before he headed back to the city, he extracted my promise that if I needed to come to town for any reason, I'd look him up.

God help me, a year later I did just that.

Journal Days 4-5

Day 4

I just noticed I've been writing in this book upside down from the back so I turned it over and started at the other end.

I got up and the sun was high again today. I don't know if its the altitude or the cold, but I've sure been doing some sleeping. I breakfasted on canned green beans, mashed potatoes, and Knorr's Mushroom Hunter gravy. I have a big canister of the gravy mix and it has chunks of dried mushrooms.  Its very good and the 'shrooms rehydrate nicely. I'll have to remember that. I found it in the trunk of my old Oldsmobile. I've never seen it in the stores. I hope they still make it.

Maya and I walked down the track we're camped on to Forest Road 147. It was only a few hundred yards. Maybe a quarter mile give or take. Her feet are improving, yet tender. We stuck to the trees and walked on the thick, soft, pine needles. She wanted to go farther, but I noticed her react if she stepped on rocks so we'll have to wait a bit before we do any real hiking.

We returned to camp and I polished off a can of yams before napping from three to six. I wonder how long before I get used to this thin air. It doesn't seem to affect Maya, but she doesn't smoke like I do. We're above 7,000 feet up here. I had to turn my lighters up to get them to work properly.

Dinner was soups. Cream of Mushroom and Cream of Celery. Smoked my last cigarette and picked some Mullein. Mullein makes a decent tobacco substitute in a pinch. The herb books say that smoking it is actually good for the lungs. The trick to smoking Mullein is to remove the veins in the leaves. That makes it taste much better. I'm carrying a few dozen packs of rolling papers.

Just before the sun went down, we were serenaded by three different Ladderback woodpeckers. I hope they are eating Bark Beetles. With the drought, the beetles have wiped out a lot of the trees. At night, I can hear the click click click as the beetles munch away. During the day you can see patches of rust throughout the forest where the trees have died. We hit the sack at nine and within a half hour there was an elk barking within feet of our tarp. It's another cold night. My breath has been visible since dusk.

Day 5

Again the sun was high when we crawled out of the tarp. I hiked up the ridge to the northwest with Maya. We were scouting the area for a place to retreat for the upcoming weekend where we might be seen by less people, and not visible from the road. I guessed I could wait another day to fetch more water. Maya was looking and walking well, but I didn't want to walk her down the rough gravel roads to the lake. I cooked spaghetti at about four o'clock.

At about seven, I followed last night's fresh elk track up the ridge behind us and found the fresh elk himself. He was a young fellow, and had four points still in velvet. Maya was riveted, and the creature allowed us to watch it for a bit before crashing away through the brush. That was her first sighting and she learned the word elk that night.

We climbed down and had a dinner of macaroni and mozzarella with tomato sauce. Afterward, I reconfigured the tarps to be tighter and warmer. By time I finished, the first three stars of the night were out and we heard coyotes in the distance. An hour later, as I was pulling the last pot of coffee of the night off the fire, we heard an elk bugling. This wasn't the same sound as the warning barks we had been hearing. It was similar to the sound a pool hose makes if you swing it over your head.

Getting Rid of Shattsworth...The First Time

I wasn't really very nice when I confronted Shattsworth about making me feed him while he sat on a stockpile of tasty grub. He was apologetic and offered to cook dinner. He said he'd bring it to my camp, a statement I found suspicious in the following days. I took Maya back to my camp and fed her the fish. If I gave her two fish, she would eat them whole. When I gave her more than that, she would only eat the heads, saving the rest for later. This led me to believe there is something good in fish heads that dogs know about.

We had beef stew, mashed potatoes, green beans, and red cool aid. Ah, flavors. Jeff kept yammering about the beans and the correct way to accent the words. “Do you say GREEN beans, of green BEANS.” Throughout the meal he kept saying it in different ways. After dinner he tossed me a twinkie. It had been a long time since I had eaten like that and it was almost worth it to have been fishing for him.

Then he started asking if I'd eat Maya if I was hungry, or if I'd eat people. Then he told me he had a 14 year old girl tied up in his van, and quickly said he was kidding. I made him show me. There was something really wrong with this dude. There was a story here, lurking behind his weaselly persona. I was very curious to learn what his deal was. Was he hiding like me? Was he dangerous, or just damaged?

I asked if he'd ever been to jail. He said he spent the last couple of years until he was eighteen in kiddie prison in Indiana. He related that when he got out, he split for Arizona. We shared jail stories. His were mostly about smearing shit on the walls of his cell and throwing balls of it at the guards. He refused to tell me what he had done to get locked up.

He pulled out a bong and while I scraped the resin out to smoke he told me again how he would make it up to me someday for helping him and for smoking all his stash alone in the van. He said without me he'd probably be dead. While he was being amenable, I enlisted an agreement from him to help me move camp the next morning. Alone, I would have to make two trips.

My plan was to move to the south end of the lake temporarily, to organize and prepare to continue my journey and ditch the nutcase. The Tonto Forest had reopened when the rain came. I had no more excuses to remain at Bear Canyon. West on the rim road, just past the fire tower, was a little known path dropping down to Tonto Creek called the See Canyon Trail. Mike, the watcher in the tower, had told me it was the best kept secret on the Rim and the fastest way down. It would save me a long waterless hike back to the Washington Trail I had originally planned to use to descend.

I figured I'd ditch Shatts for the south of the lake for a day or two, then move to the trail head. From there, I would move to the Highline Trail halfway down, and on to Tonto Creek and southward. It would be warmer on the Tonto, and I could kill some time there on the way down to Roosevelt Lake. It would be a couple of months before it cooled off to a comfortable temperature at Roosevelt. The creek was known to be a good trout stream in the north, hopefully it would provide other options in the south. Where there is water, there is food.

As we were discussing my plans, a guy drove up and asked if we could give him a hand with his camper. He had a hard sided pop up, and the gears had stripped and he needed help holding it up while he released the supports so It wouldn't jam crashing down. We happily complied and he gave us a few beers and a tub of macaroni salad. He said to eat the salad soon, as it had been in his cooler a few days. He said by soon he meant now.

He was another odd one, and from Indiana like myself and Jeff. He kept remarking on the size of Maya's genitals and teats. Jeff asked him for a ride to Payson and back, which he of course declined, but was able to use a pair of needle nose pliers I had and crimp the leak in Jeff's radiator. It was while he was doing this that I learned how the radiator was damaged.

Shattsworth had chosen to replace the mechanical fan on his water pump with an electric fan mounted to the radiator. He scavenged the fan at a junk yard and it didn't fit right so he held it in place with zip ties. On the way up the highway, the zip ties melted and the fan cut his radiator. With the temporary mend, Jeff should be able to make it to Payson. He opted to stick around, fearful to drive with the jankity repair.

The next morning I packed up my camp and true to his word, he helped me move to the south of the lake. On the way there I was startled by a snake I almost stepped on that had two heads and let out a girlie scream that Shattswell thought was tremendously funny. He kept saying he couldn't believe that Mike West, the great outdoorsman was scared of a little snake. I wasn't scared, it startled me. AND IT HAD TWO HEADS! It was just a garter snake. It had a red stripe along it's side and the two heads forked out from the body about three or four inches back. It was probably only about sixteen or eighteen inches long.

Shattsworth left me at my new camp, and I was relieved to be rid of him. That evening, after I had set up, four high school aged boys came and camped right across from me. They were up all night hollering and drinking and playing poker. They had a sex doll propped up at a camp table where they played. Occasionally, they shouted rude things at me across from their camp. They were naked and I couldn't tell if they were simulating sex acts with the doll or actually doing it. I didn't sleep until they left in the morning, and of course they left a mess for me to clean up. They also left an oil lamp hanging in a tree. Score!

I woke that afternoon with gut wrenching cramps. I threw up until I was empty and then dry heaved for a while. I tried to drink some water but repeated the cycle of vomiting and heaving. I thought I would turn myself inside out. The spasms didn't subside for days and I had a splitting headache. I thought I might die. It was a good thing I had water and dog food, because I couldn't have fished or fetched water.  I wondered if the macaroni salad was bad, but thought it more likely that Shattsworth poisoned me with bad water or shit in the stew. Looking back, I wasn't there when he cooked the meal and plated it. I remembered how he sent me away while he cooked and that remark about "hamburger" in his cooler, and all those other stories he had told me about his vengeful and fecal loving nature.

On the morning of the second day I heard somebody poking through my camp and looked out to see him there. I asked if he was sick, and he wasn't. That ruled out the macaroni salad. I asked if he fed me untreated water in the Kool Aid and he denied that too. I told him I knew he did something and he should be glad I was doubled over in agony, or I'd kick his ass. In my delirium I may have told him I'd kill him if he was still in the forest when I got better. He looked guilty, but he always looked guilty.

After he left, I was lucid enough to remember the benadryl in my first aid stash. The next day I was able to keep some water down. By evening I felt much better, but weak. On the fourth day after I fell ill, Maya and I hiked to the north side of the lake to interrogate Shattsworth some more and see if he needed his ass kicked.

We crested the hill above the lake just in time to see an LEO truck, with the cop lights flashing, disappear down Forest road 89. Shattsworth was gone. I wondered if he was arrested. I didn't figure I would ever know, I couldn't really just walk up to a ranger and ask. I returned to camp relieved, but I didn't know I hadn't seen the last of Shattsworth.

Journal Excerpts Day 3

Day 3

Woke up late today. The sun is high. There is nothing below my bed but a canvas tarp and my old wool poncho from Mexico and the cold seeps right through to my bones. I only have a Mexican blanket to cover us and even with the heat of the dog, I wake cold and clenched several times throughout the night.

At the library, I learned how to judge hiking distances by sliding beads on a string. I've devised such a cord to measure the trip to the lake and to help me know where I am on the trail. The cord I used is tight in the beads, so when I slide them they stay slid.

Here's how it works. There are 1,760 yards to a mile. My typical stride, being 6'1' tall, is just over a yard. For every 100 steps I take I slide a bead. When all 17 beads have been moved, I should have traveled a mile. I don't plan to hike so many miles that I cannot remember which one I am on, but if I did I could just string up some more beads.

I left the Maya dog at camp because of her feet and hiked to the lake for water. I removed the tarp from the rope and fastened her lead to it so she could move along the length between the trees.

When Darl and I drove to the lake, we went south on the track where I'm camped and then turned to the east. The road wound around to the left fairly constantly. I estimated that if I hiked north along the trail past my camp and down the hill, then turned east, It would bring me to the road and shorten the hike by about 15%.

A few hundred yards up the trail from my camp I crested a hill and a few feet further was a tree growing in the middle of it. The dirt around the tree was powdery and loose and I saw my first bear tracks. The hind feet were easily as big as mine. I don't know enough about bears to guess how big this would make it. Big enough that I looked around warily, but saw no sign of the animal. I worried for Maya, alone and tethered back at Onion camp. I saw my first bear scat. Each turd was connected to the next by a network of animal hair. It was dry so I picked it up using a leaf and it hung like a chain.

Just past the tree, the trail narrowed again and descended into a heavily wooded area thickly carpeted with ferns. A few hundred yards further along, the woods ended in a clearing and a fire road. I followed the fire road and came out on the forest road just as I had hoped. I followed the several curves to the left and counted three more dirt roads on the left and one large meadow with dry a stream bed before I came to the longer road that leads back to the lake.

At the lake, I filled my 6 water jugs from a depth of about eighteen inches to avoid any contaminants on the surface, I left them with my pack on the west bank of the lake and hiked the perimeter. It's a small lake. On my way around, I saw several minnows but no crawdads. There were elk tracks in abundance, but no sign of bear. On the way back, I stopped at a large fallen tree and climbed up to sit, rest, and survey the area before returning to camp.

My bead count estimated the distance I traveled at three point two miles. My water weight in the pack was just over twenty five pounds. A gallon of water weighs 8 pounds.

I returned the way I came, again counting the jeep trails before I left the forest road. The third one had a culvert that ran below the road and dropped of into a slight ravine. I noticed a Mountain Dew bottle and Bud Light can at the bottom of the ditch. I found the forest road through the meadow and encouraged by the success of my shortcut, tried another overland and off trail. It was a failure and led to deeper forest rather than coming out where I had hoped.

Everything looked alike in the thick trees, and they obscured any landmarks. I panicked a little, as the sun was below the trees and I had no conception of time and needed to get back to Maya before dark when the predators roam. I was able to retrace my steps and return to the trail I needed. Back at camp, Maya was fine. The whole adventure took about four and a half hours.

I took Maya off the lead and replaced the tarp on the rope in a pretty strong wind. I had to orient just right to accomplish this. We crawled into the shelter and napped until just before dusk. I was feeling the altitude.

When we awoke, I boiled drinking water and cooked a can of chicken noodle soup. All day I had seen no sign of any people on the road or at the lake. It was an awesome feeling, being alone in the woods with Maya and the bears and the elk. I felt good. I was starting to unwind. I loaded a bowl and got out the guitar. When darkness came, the wind stopped. I was fearful of being caught with a fire, but it was too perfect so I kept it going, even after all the water was boiled and we were fed. I kept it very small, just a six inch twig or two at a time.

I had twelve liters of water and treated six. Maya can take hers straight. With Maya sticking close and resting her pads, it should last us two days, three if I conserve my share and drink water from the canned goods. I'm using the canned stuff first to drop pack weight rapidly in case we need to move on earlier than excpected.

.

There's a reason they call it a Turkey Buzzard. Vultures are delicious.

I was fortunate enough to meet quite a few people who taught me things that helped me along the trail in a variety of ways. Frank taught me some Bass techniques that I use to this day. Brett taught me how to clean the hot springs. Martin taught me to cook in a pit. And Grizz taught me to how to cure buds on the plant. The list is long. I could do this all day.

Among the many people whose paths I crossed that were well versed in wilderness lore, none stands out so much as the hardcore outdoorsmen Rusty and Mark. The last time I saw Mark before he passed away, he was traveling the Wild and Scenic Verde River on foot with his son Matt. His aim was to impart some of his knowledge to his son. I was lucky enough to be hanging around. Among other things, Mark taught me to make minnow traps out of liquor bottles and how to rig a catfish line for strong current.

It was mid-September and the previous week was a nightmare of late season monsoons and high winds. Rusty and I had been up on the Mogollon at our respective summer hideaways and the storms blew us both home to the river on my thirty seventh birthday. It was the third year that Rusty and I happened to descend from the high country on the same day. Mark and Matt hit camp later that afternoon. FBI Al was there, as were Grizz and Lee. Grizz brought a spare tent that he gave me, knowing I liked to switch up frequently to avoid notice. I remember it was orange and blue and looked like it should have said Miami Dolphins on it.

The same storms that had plagued Rusty and I had flooded Mark and Matt on their way downstream and they lost their tent. I gave the Miami Dolphins tent to them, and they set up camp at the edge of the river. They told us they tried to eat a skunk on the way down, but even though they were careful to remove the scent glands intact, the meat was too gamey to tolerate. When they left, they passed the six foot dome tent on to Goat and his girl. Grizz, Lee, Rusty, and I were a little higher up in the hackberries.

Just before dusk that first night, we were in the hackberry camp sharing Rusty's brandy and the fine smoke Grizz had when Mark came back from the waterfall we called the showers and told us there was a wounded buzzard flopping around down there. Barb, a nearby camper, said the bird had shown up about three days before and had a broken wing. It had presumably been injured in the storm and sought the shelter of the island below the showers.

A vulture with a broken wing on an island in the desert doesn't have much of a chance. We all knew somebody should go down and end the creature's suffering. Rusty volunteered and headed off with his Ruger Olympic .22 pistol. When he returned, Mark told Matt to go clean and skin it for practice. When he had done so, he brought it back to show Mark his work. He had done a fine job, but for some reason he left the feet on.

It looked like a stretched out chicken carcass, not nearly as big as I had expected. Somebody said it looked good enough to eat. “Maybe” Mark said, and sent Matt back down to retrieve the liver for inspection while we admired the bird. Mark explained that when eating carnivores, its important to check the liver for spots and proper color.

The liver checked out ok. We all had a look and learned something. Looking around, there were obviously too many people for the buzzard to feed, so I volunteered to wrangle a couple of the spotted bass that live in the pools above the showers. Those pools were always good for a quick 2-4 fish before they quit biting. That was my lunch spot for years on the Verde. Al was skeptical that we could be so productive in such a short time, but Rusty knew. He had showed me the sweet spots. I headed to the pools and Al went for his pole.

As I hoped, I caught three small bass after five casts of a white crappie lure and Al caught two. Al helped clean them, and we returned to camp with the booty. He fileted the larger two and I chopped the smaller ones into bone-in steaks. I remember looking at the little pieces of meat produced by the filet process and thinking it was a waste of the fish's life to yield so little food. Back then I prepared all my bass and catfish cutting through them, perpendicular to the backbone in two inch widths. You have to deal with the bones, but there is no waste. Al didn't know. Everybody filets fish like he did. He was fast too. Impressive. I showed him how I do it, and told him why. We both learned something.

Mark had parted out the bird and parboiled it in Cayenne. While I fried the bass, Lee fileted and battered a couple of catfish he had on the stringer and Mark lathered the vulture with BBQ sauce and applied it to the grill. We had quite a feast. Barb and Ken passed around plates of fajitas, and everybody got to taste the vulture. 

I was going to just try a small piece but it was so good, I had a wing and a thigh. It was like the juiciest turkey I ever had. I was left wondering if they're called Turkey Buzzards because they are so tasty.